so this is the new year...

...and I don’t feel any different.

Thank you, Death Cab for Cutie, for providing a song lyric so easily applicable to the feelings we all experience a few weeks after December turns into January. I appreciate it, as do the 78,273 other people who undoubtedly have already used it in their writings. (What? I never claimed to be original.) We are nearly three weeks in 2008, and the song rings true: I don’t feel any different. Differently, for the grammar sticklers.

This may seem like a negative way to begin my first real entry, but that’s not my intention whatsoever. I’m merely pondering. Think about it– every year, Christmas passes and the new year approaches quickly. Plans are made, parties are had, and substandard entertainment in the form of a network special is endured in order to watch a sparkly ball drop from the sky. (Although this year, my dear boys of Lifehouse performed on one special, making it far less substandard. I was so proud.) Toasts to the new year are made, and everyone begins to form their resolutions. The switch is always refreshing at first. Everytime you write down the date, you’re reminded that you’ve successfully completed another year. For those first few weeks, it feels like a fresh start. After that, however, adherence to those resolutions seems to slip, routines are re-established, and 2008 starts to feel just like 2007 did. This isn’t necessarily bad– it’s just what happens. We are creatures of habit. It’s comfortable to settle back into what is familiar, because that’s where we feel the most secure. Our bold plans for change start to seem like too much trouble, and that’s when we realize that January 1st is really just the day after December 31st.

I know all about those bold plans for change. As a chronic procrastinator with an eternally messy bedroom, horrid sleeping habits, and a definite lack of good nutrition, I certainly had some resolutions lined up for the new year. After returning to Purdue for the semester, I made a conscious effort for about 3 days. I drank more water, I ate salads, I went to bed before 12:30, and I took off my eye makeup so it wouldn’t smear on my towel the next day. Then a few days later, I had a Coke, ate McDonald’s, stayed up til 2 in the morning, and fell asleep in my makeup. Like I said... creatures of habit. I was disappointed at first, and then I realized that I’d been doing those things all along and was still healthy and sane. Had I failed, at least temporarily? Yes. Was it the end of the world? Nope. Then comes the critical question... Should I keep trying? The answer to that is yes.

What I’m really going for here is that personal improvement cannot occur quickly. We can’t just flip on a switch at the new year and suddenly become new people. The phrase “baby steps” comes to mind. If we’re going to change, we should work on it bit by bit until we learn to alter our habits. We should also do it because we need to do it, not just because our culture dictates that we write out a list of things to accomplish at the beginning of each year. I am aware that I need to make a few changes here and there, but in order to work on that, I need to be convinced that I need to change for my own good. Thankfully, I’m more or less convinced, and I’m starting to work on it. In the past week, I finally organized my binders. I’ve been making better to-do lists. I’ve gotten out of the apartment on some evenings and actually gotten schoolwork done. I’ve written all my commitments in my calendar. However, that’s about all I’ve done. I’m still not sleeping right, I’m not eating right, and I’m certainly not staying current with my studies. I’ve got quite a journey ahead of me, and I’ve barely started.

Yes, it’s a new year. No, I don’t feel that different. Why? Because I haven’t really tried that hard yet. However, I’ve taken stock of my life, and I’ve realized that good things are going on for me right now. Life is good, no doubt about that, but it could be better if I work on it. If I get up and take those baby steps, then maybe, just maybe, I might start feeling differently.




Side note: I hope to write more regularly now that I’ve started. Lots has been happening, from BGR news to a roadtrip to Iowa, so I certainly have things to write about. Also, watch for a “song of the week” feature every Tuesday, starting next week.