digital sea [song of the week]

Well, I never meant for "song of the week" to become bi-weekly, but unfortunately that's been the case lately. Whoopsie. I'll try to keep up from now on, I just always seem to have really busy Tuesdays, so I tend to forget. Tonight, however, I remembered! Actually, I've been meaning to feature this song for awhile, so it's about time.

The song of the week is "Digital Sea" by Thrice.


Photo from http://www.myspace.com/thrice

Prior to January, I'd heard of Thrice but had never taken the time to listen to them. I had heard JP of We The Living mention that he really liked them, plus WTL had them in their top friends on Myspace, so I eventually got around to listening to them. As it turns out, they're a rock/electronic band with songs that span a whole range of styles. This was the first song of theirs that I listened to, and it was pretty much all it took for me to go to Borders and buy the album containing the song later that day. The current album is The Alchemy Index Vol. I and II (Fire and Water). Volume I is "Fire" and contains some rather thrashing heavy rock songs, while Volume II is "Water" and has an ethereal, nearly opposite sound from the Fire disc. I know that Volumes III and IV (Earth and Wind) are coming soon. When WTL was here the other day, we were listening to the albums and JP was hypothesizing that Fire is their nod to their older sound, while Water is closer to the direction they're moving, and he thinks Earth and Wind will have sounds more like Water. No matter what they decide to do, it's a fascinating way of putting out albums and I really enjoy their work.

Back to "Digital Sea" specifically, I really love the feel of this song. For some reason, I've always liked songs that have that nervous edge to them. I don't know if it's the key, the melody, or the lyrics, but I just love it when a song makes you feel like something is about to happen, but you're not sure what, or if it's good or bad. Maybe that's weird, but I like my music to invoke some emotion, and if that emotion happens to be apprehension, so be it. The imagery in the lyrics is also quite stunning, and they blend in the electronica aspect so smoothly (think Mute Math). I could see myself choreographing something to this. When it's on in my room, I find myself moving to it pretty easily. It would have to be some kind of lyrical/modern hybrid, and I'm not skilled at creating dances in either style, but I suppose we'll see. I think it's best to listen to this song loudly, preferably with headphones to catch all the nuances in the music. The sound quality in the video I'm posting isn't top-notch, and the video isn't all that much to look at either, so if I were you, I'd listen to it on their myspace. Either way, this is one of my favorite songs right now, so I hope you like it as well.



I woke, cold and alone,
adrift in the open sea;
caught up in regrets,
and tangled in nets,
instead of your arms wrapped around me.
And I wept but my tears are anathema here,
just more water to fill my lungs.
I hear someone scream,
“God what is it we have done?”

I am drowning in a digital sea;
I am slipping beneath the sound.
Here my voice goes, to ones and zeros,
I’m slipping beneath the sound.

A song from somewhere below,
deadly and slow begins.
Both sickly and sweet,
now picking up speed,
and ushering in the world’s end.
And the ghost of Descartes screams again in the dark,
"Oh how could I have been so wrong?"
But above the screams still the sirens sing their song

I am drowing in a digital sea;
I am slipping beneath the sound.
Here my voice goes, to ones and zeroes,
I'm slipping beneath the sound.

Here my voice goes, to ones and zeroes...

don't quit your day job, honey

I wrote this today.

I'm blind to the bright side
and shatter on the inside
but smile on the outside
and fall by the wayside

I don't know what it is. Poem? Song lyrics? [Melo]dramatic monologue? Beats me. All I know is that somewhere between the Union and the end of Chauncey, they came out of thin air and into my brain. I'm not really that proud of these four little lines, nor do I think they're very good. I do like the first line, but the middle two are very generic. However, since I am so rarely able to write anything that isn't of a technical or academic nature, I thought I'd document it anyway. Creative writing of any kind has never been a strong point of mine, so even a four-line output is progress for me.

I think this came to me today because I'm more than a little stressed about the next few weeks, and I'm running out of ways to express it without driving people up the wall. The first line really describes my struggle with pessimism. There are times when I really do feel like I'm blind to the bright side of a situation. This tends to bother people because they think I am consciously refusing to take an optimistic view, but this isn't the case. Some people are just more pessmistic, and I happen to be one of them. This isn't to say that I'm never optimistic, but it takes me more effort than the average person to see the glass half-full. The second and third lines refer to the struggle of feeling like your life and parts of yourself are breaking apart, and not being able to show it or do anything about it. Even if it does feel like you're shattering inside, you've still got your outer shell intact, and that's all the world will see if you're careful. The fourth line plays off the third... smile and act like nothing is wrong, and you'll just blend back into the background. Sometimes it's easier to smile and fade away than to try to explain why you feel the way you do.

(I absolutely hate to have to include a disclaimer here because I feel it negates or ruins my writing. However, this is a public blog and I did promise myself not to write depressing entries. Therefore, I need to point out that while I do have some very real struggles, I know that I am not the only one, and I also know that feelings like these do not apply to every day of my life. For that matter, they apply to a minority of my days, but the feelings are real and they do happen, so I have to express them somehow.)

As I read back through the entry now, I'm kind of startled that those four lines caused me to write such a lengthy description of the feelings that prompted them. I guess that's the beauty of it...

Sometimes, a little can say quite a lot.

hostess with the mostess

I will now present a completely hypothetical situation.

Let’s say you have a second-favorite band of the independent-label, nationally-touring, up-and-coming variety. This band could possibly be called We The Living. And let’s say that you had no idea this band existed until you and a friend met them by chance about 8 months ago, but through a series of late-night diner adventures, faithful promotion efforts, and surprise trips to shows several states away, you have more or less become friends with said band. Then let’s say this band is playing a show near you, so you offer them a place to stay. They take you up on this offer, and even though you can’t go to the show, you show up afterward and get them all settled. Then the next morning you find them in all sorts of adorable unconsciousness in your living room, and you make them coffee and cook them breakfast and send them on their way, and later wonder how on earth they got your shower so dirty.

Sound fun? Yeah, I think so too. If only things like this actually happened.

OH WAIT…

This was actually my Wednesday night/ Thursday morning.
Sometimes, I really do love my life.

Does it feel weird/ borderline creepy to ramble on about it right now? A bit, yes. But, friends or no, I feel that it is a blog-worthy situation when one of your fave bands ends up in your apartment, so here it is. They know I’m not a creep, so it’s alright. I think. I hope. (Hi guys…)

Moving on… back in mid-January, I saw the guys play in Terre Haute, and afterward we were talking about they’ve started supporting Invisible Children United. As it turns out, my friend Chris is an officer for Purdue’s chapter of ICU, so later that week I told him about WTL and I said that he should contact them. Well, he did, and a few days later, a benefit show was booked. Chris then got the Lafayette Theater to donate their space for the event, a couple openers were secured, and things were pretty much good to go. Unfortunately, I had a BGR supervisor training that night, so I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make it. Big bummer.

Fast forward to this Wednesday. I talked to Stefan during the day and find that their van had been broken into the night before in Chicago, right outside the venue. The thieves took Gary! Gary is/was their navigation system. He wasn’t always right, and took a lot of verbal abuse, but once he was gone, his presence was missed. RIP Gary. They also stole JP’s laptop, but I believe that has since been recovered. Anyway, I double-checked that they were planning on staying with me, did some grocery shopping, tidied up a bit, and headed off to training. Right as training got over, I got a call from my mom (she and my aunt attended the show) and she said that the show had just ended. I went over to the venue and said hi to the guys and the various friends and people I knew who were still around. I also went outside for a few to look at the lunar eclipse. It wasn’t complete at the time, but it was an interesting brownish-red. I ended up just hanging around the theater with the guys while they packed up, met their new crew/sound guy Jeremy, and carted some merch tubs down by the stage. (This caused me to jank up my shoulder pretty badly, unfortunately. It’s almost better now, I think). When we were getting ready to leave around midnight, Jeremy and JP decided to run about a block away and recreate the scene from the Notebook by laying down in the middle of the street in downtown Lafayette. Bizarre. Anyway, JP, Ben, and Jeremy went with one of the opening bands, so I got Matt and Stefan back to my apartment and got the van parked. I made some snacks and we hung out w/ a few of my roomies, but the boys got tired and started falling asleep. I tried to stay awake and wait for the others/ work on some homework, but by 2, I was too exhausted to stay awake. I tried to wake up Matt and have him call the others, but he fell asleep again in the middle of dialing, so I gave up and went to bed. Somewhere around 3, Matt woke me up to ask my address, presumably for the others, so I told him and went back to sleep. I don’t want to think about how bad I probably looked. ::shudder::

I got up somewhere around 6:45 to shower and get ready, and fiddle with the homework a little. I went downstairs at about 8 and found all five guys sprawled across the living room amidst suitcases and guitar cases, so apparently the other three did manage to find their way in the middle of the night. I made some coffee and attempted to be quiet, but that wasn’t necessary because I think they could all sleep through a bomb going off. I made cinnamon rolls after that and they still didn’t wake up, so I went back upstairs for more homework. As it neared 10 am, I got a little nervous because I had to leave at noon for class (the required ones… I may have skipped the others) and they still weren’t up. I decided to start cooking the potatoes and finally, JP woke up. He then got the others up and they started taking showers and such.

I don’t really remember all the shenanigans of the morning, which is unfortunate. I do know that they drank a ton of coffee and ate the food. I also know that Matt got on my iTunes and found that the top five most played songs happen to be the We The Living, so that was remarkably embarrassing on my end. Apparently it was a good thing though, and I shouldn’t have worried, because at one point JP decided to gripe about the fact that I still didn’t have one of their posters up in my room. Never satisfied, apparently. They continued perusing my iTunes and we listened to some Thrice, among other things. I also listened to JP and Benjamin argue over who got to poop first and saw them play rock/paper/scissors to decide, and when I muttered something about “boys,” I was subjected to about a minute of exaggerated usage of the words “poop” and “fart.” Maturity level = not high that day. Or ever, really, but that’s fine. I also talked with Jeremy for a bit, and continued to hack away at my homework, which was due at 4:30 that day. One other thing worth noting was Matt’s skill at egg-flipping. I am incapable of cooking good eggs, so I told them they could cook their own. When Matt’s turn came along, he was all about wanting to flip the egg up in the air. His first attempt almost resulted in egg all over the sink, so he let it cook a little more. A few attempts and a careful countdown later, we managed to snag this amazing shot:

As it got closer to noon, they realized that their laundry wasn’t going to be dry in time, so my roomie Emily agreed to take me to class and come back until they were gone. At about noon I did my goodbye hugs (sadly) and Emily drove me off to class, where I sat and finished my homework on my laptop. I think the guys ended up leaving about 1:30 to head to Miami of Ohio. When I got home, I tried to finish cleaning up the chaos and wipe heaven knows what out of the shower. I don’t know how on earth they got it so dirty, and I don’t think I really want to know.

So, that’s the story. I’m still sad I missed the show, especially since it never would’ve happened if I hadn’t told Chris about them, but it’s okay. It was still great to see the guys, because they’re awesome and never fail to crack me up and make me smile… and maybe because they always seem to give me a glimpse into a life I wish I was living.

I swear though, next time THEY are cleaning the shower.

happy valentine's day!

[Rose, taken February 2006, bouquet in our Hillenbrand Hall dorm room]

I just wanted to take a second to wish my friends and family a Happy Valentine's Day. Normally I'd make some bitter "Singles Awareness Day" comment, but honestly, it's not worth it. I'd rather just tell the people who matter that I love them and let it end at that.

I practically forgot this holiday was even coming up. I've been so busy lately that I even forgot to buy cards or valentines for friends. Today was a mess as well... I had weird frightening dreams last night, I hardly got any sleep, we got annihilated by a horrid pharmacokinetics exam tonight, and our apartment has a surprise guest. Specifically, a mouse. Maybe mice. We're not sure. Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much, but it apparently REALLY bothers everyone else. We set up some traps, and Cochran (the company who owns our complex) sent some people to patch up a little hole in the corner of the bathroom walls and such. Hopefully the situation will be taken care of soon enough. Our grades on that exam, however, can stay hidden for as long as possible for all I care.

Ah, well. Tomorrow is a new day. In the meantime, I send out all my love to those who matter to me. You all know who you are.



P.S.- It's now 12:30 a.m. and our friend Mike just brought by a white rose for each of us. Thanks dude, you can be nice when you really try ;-)

new soul [song of the week]

First of all, my apologies for being so absent in the past 2 weeks or so. Life has been hectic to say the least, but I've got few minutes to breathe. It's Tuesday, so it's song of the week day! I failed to do this last week, so I'll go ahead and use the song I planned on using then.

The song of the week is "New Soul" by Yael Naim.


Photo from http://www.myspace.com/yaelnaim

This is the song featured in the commercials for the new Macbook Air. (Otherwise known as Apple's latest stylish and overpriced attempt to take over the world. I have an iPod, yes, and I utilize iTunes, yes, but I love PCs and refuse to buy a Mac computer. But I digress.) I heard the song on the commercials and thought it sounded like Feist at first, but then I realized the voices were different. Some Googling and trip to iTunes led me to Yael Naim, a musician who was born in France and raised in Isreal. From what I've read about her, her album (on which she sings in English, French, and Hebrew) was recorded on a single computer in her home. The song is undeniably catchy and has that "sure we screw up, but everything will be just fine" vibe to it. That's actually why I was listening to it a lot last week-- we were drowning in exams and other nonsense, and it felt good to listen to a song about making every possible mistake and just shrugging it off with a few la-la-la's. The music video is quite fun as well, and implies a bit of a "life is what you make of it" message. Hope you enjoy!



I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul
In this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end
Cause' you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take your far away

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...