it started feeling like october...

[Indiana Highway 25, October evening]

Thank you, Jack's Mannequin, for providing an applicable song lyric for life and the title of this entry (from Annie Use Your Telescope, one of my favorites from the new album). It has indeed started feeling like October, because, well... it IS. I'm not sure how this month got here so fast, or how it's already almost the middle of the month. I'm currently at home in Peru for Fall Break, which also means we're almost halfway through the semester. We have Monday and Tuesday off, so I'm here relaxing and doing schoolwork until Tuesday sometime. It's good to be home for a little while.

Friday, I left my apartment a little after 5:30 and drove through Starbucks to get a Caramel Apple Spice. I decided to put my Jessie Baylin CD in the player once I hit Highway 25, and proceeded to have one of the nicest drives home I have ever experienced. The aforementioned beverage just screams Autumn, and Jessie has the kind of music that evokes calmness and nostalgia. She has kind of an "old-style" voice, mellow tunes, and a slight tinge of country that is perfect for driving through the trees and fields of rural Indiana. The sun was behind me and had that beautiful golden quality you only find in early mornings and evenings. It lit up all the trees which were changing color along the road and made for some gorgeous scenery. (And yes, I do drive with my camera next to me. I took the above picture while driving. I'm so safe.) It was just a truly nice, relaxing, lovely drive.


When I hit Delphi, a big line of cars was stopped at the railroad crossing. For lack of anything else to do while I waited, I read my Starbucks cup. I don't know what exactly it was about that cup (I think the nostalgia factor of the music and the drive may have been involved), but I had a sudden flashback to early in my freshman year at Purdue. Prior to college, I think I'd gone to a Starbucks twice. However, in the first hot weeks of school back in 2004, I developed a love of caramel frappucinos. On Fridays, I would always get one from the Starbucks in the Union and would take it by the fountain on the Engineering Mall. I would always sit on the little wall that circles the area and lean against one of the short pillars there while I downed the frappucino and studied for the Econ quizzes I always had on Fridays. I was still so afraid of college in those days. I was slowly developing my routines, but I felt shy, awkward, and unsure of myself amidst the 38,000 students on campus and had no idea if I could handle what was ahead of me.

As it turns out, apparently I could handle it. I was accepted into pharmacy school, I'm in my fifth year out of six (!) and still seem to be doing well, I have a solid group of wonderful friends, I have developed interests that were never on my radar before, I know what is important to me... and I visit Starbucks at least twice a week. I tried to remember my first Fall Break, and all I can recall is that my mom had to come pick me up from the dorm and take me home. Those days of freshman year dorm life seem so far away- no car, limited privacy, shared bathrooms. These days, it's hard to imagine anything other than quiet apartment life and the ability to pick up and drive my car somewhere whenever I want.


Speaking of driving... the Jessie Baylin CD finished up as I made the turn from 25 onto 24, so I put in Jack's Mannequin. As I made the turn off of 24 into Peru, I rolled down the window and turned up "Miss California." I always seem to crank a song nobody in the town will know as I come back to it. It's not really an intentional thing, but it may be in some sort of subconscious defiance to the past. I never would have guessed in those days that I'd become the music-obsessed, roadtripping, Los Angeles/Chicago-loving lunatic that I am these days. Thankfully, we surprise ourselves, and I'm so glad that's what I am. With that being said, it's still nice to have some familiarity of the past. My friend Avriel, who lived just down the street from me all our lives, was also home this weekend. From first grade and on, we basically grew up together and were like sisters. (Fought like it too, but that's to be expected.) Her family was having a little campfire in the backyard, so they invited me over and we spent some time talking and making s'mores.


After awhile, Avriel and I went on a walk and talked, which is something we've done for years. Nighttime walks were a staple, especially when something was bothering one of us. It's good to know that you can still come back, even in your fifth year of being gone, and take that same familiar walk in a loop down 6th Street and back along 5th, and know you can probably cross Main Street even when the light is red because there aren't many cars at that time of night.

Some things change, and they should.
Some things never change, and they shouldn't have to.
Leaves change color and fall, but the trunks and branches remain.

It started feeling like October...
And I'm home.
But not for long.